Monday, June 11, 2007

i guess i haven't been clear. . .i am back in indianapolis. i'm not going back to saudi arabia. i have experienced what i needed to experience there. i had lunch with ross baker a few days ago. he said, "a theocracy doesn't seem like a good fit for you." i'd have to agree with him.

now that i'm back safe on american soil i can share the following stories to help explain my decision. . .

i didn't hear from some saudi "friends" of mine for a few weeks. then. . .they called me one night out of blue. . .asking for "whiskey, black label." i told them i didn't have any whiskey. they said, "please, we've been very kind to you. tomorrow, black label, whiskey, okay?" i said i'd see what i could do. i called a friend. the next day i had the whiskey. the saudis called me again, "black label, whiskey?" i said, "okay, okay, i'll meet you at imam university, at gate 4." i drove over there. . .i waited in my car for 20 minutes with the bottle of contraband. . .i felt scared and terrible. . .like a drug dealer. they finally pulled up and parked next to me. i got out of my car and into their suv. they said, "how much?" i was confused. i thought we were going to hangout. they asked again, "how much. we want to buy it." i said, "500 S.R." ($130 USD). they said, "another bottle." i said, "no, this is all i have and it was hard to get. . .and i feel bad about it." "tomorrow, another bottle!! YOU BRING ANOTHER BOTTLE!!" "NO! i'm not doing going to that." "NEXT WEEK YOU BRING BOX!!!" i started freaking out. . .the demands were being shouted at me. i grabbed the money out of their hand and jumped out of the suv and into my car. they immediately followed me out of the parking lot. . .and started calling my cell phone. i sped to the compound. . .went through the security gate and never talked to them again.


today i'm 29. one more year and i'll be 30. . .

. . .i can see old man wrinkles on my forehead. i always hoped deep down inside wrinkles and hair loss would be caused by raising a family. . .but instead they've come from child like relationships with peers. it's disappointing. . .will i ever grow-up?

as a special birthday gift apple, inc. released it's new version of the safari web browser. why is this significant? almost exactly one year ago (june 6th to be exact) i sent feedback to apple through their website requesting they make web browser tabs "breakout-able or drag out-able". it's been implemented. however i didn't get invited WWDC to introduce the new browser feature. i also asked for a job in the same email, and they didn't give me that either. i guess i'll just have to be happy with the new drag out tabs. i have that same feeling that i had when i emailed white castle about garlic burgers, which also eventually came to fruition. when i sent the emails i felt like i was performing a selfless act, like contributing to open source or something. . ."knowledge should be free". . .but giving knowledge for free to corporations who turn around and profit from it feels. . .well like being taken advantage of, admittedly i put myself in the situation. . .why?. . .because there is also a sense of affirmation, self affirmation, but affirmation the same. . ."look my idea was a good idea after all."

. . .it's all very emotionally confusing.