Tuesday, March 6, 2007

i've been having the WORST sleeping problems, and I'm not talking about stress rated insomnia or insomnia in general. . .i'm talking about sleep apnea and what seems to be heart palpitations. i wake up gasping for air convinced that if i wouldn't have woken up, i would have died. . .it freaks me out and the more freaked out i get the worse it gets. . .i first i thought it was related to drinking which makes it worse so i don't drink, then i thought it might be stress. . .so i tried relaxing, meditating. . .no luck. . .but i think i may have actually discovered what is causing these sleeping issues as of last night. . .i hope anyway. . .i bought a wireless network router last night. . .so i can sit anywhere in my house and access the internet. . .i've had that luxury back home in the states for years. . .but with all the online chatting with jen. . .i really thought i would be nice to kick back on the couch wireless here in saudi arabia. . .i noticed early into the night last night i wasn't having the usual anxious feeling in my chest. . .and that's when it hit me. . .i had noticed when i got here that something about my ungrounded aluminum laptop plugged into the US standard 110v outlet and connect via ethernet cable to my DSL modem plugged into the 220v european standard outlet (i have both in the villa) created a weird circuit. . .i could feel the electricity on the surface of the laptop. i live on that laptop. . .usually i'll spend an hour talking to jen, 2 - 3 hours making music and video and about an hour just surfing the web. . .every night. . .that's like 5 to 6 hours of usage. . .and 5 to 6 hours (recently) of receiving electrical charge. . .i think that might be the source of the apnea and heart palpitations. . .i slept like a baby last night. . .we'll see what happens tonight.

as long as we are talking about near death experiences. . .they don't remove the bones from salmon steaks here. . .my first bite of my dinner last night resulted in 10 minutes of choking on a bone lodged in my throat. i finally coughed that dude up and it was all bloody. . .it really messed up my throat. it's terribly painful today. am i doomed/cursed to die alone in that villa?

i mean i having the worst time establishing a social life outside of work. . .there is no hangout scene. . .and the only place people do hangout (coffee shops) you walk in and no one really wants to talk to you. . .because you are white. . .just yesterday i was at the computer store getting my router. . .and the sales person. . .who spoke great english. . .actually struck up a conversation with me (which is rare). . .we were waiting for the checkout person to come back. . .he was like "so how's it going". . .i said "pretty good, i just moved here." he said, "how long have you been here?" i said, "about a month." then he said how do you like it, "i said, it's hard to find things to do." he said, "where are you from?" i said, "the states." and i kid you not he just stopped right there turned around and walked away. just like that. i mean it's not that people are mean. . .because they are really nice. it's that they are scared. . .they don't want to be caught talking to americans. they don't want to be ridiculed or whatever. i'm sure that dude started talking to me thanks to my lebanese look. . .he looked lebanese too. it was the first time i was really temped to lie about where i'm from. . .because someone was actually talking to me. . .that wasn't on the compound or in the office.

i went to the bank yesterday at prayer time. . .like an idiot and was stuck waiting for them to open back up. . .(everything closes during the 5 prayer times). . .i was waiting with 4 saudis. . .none of them said a word to me. same thing happened the other day at an electronics store and i actually tried to talk to those guys. they didn't speak english well. . .and my arabic is sh*t. . .so they just walked 5 feet away and sorta pointed and laughed. . .at me, or with me. . .or what. . .i don't know.

1 comment:

haley said...

bryam, this could be a comedy skit. . .it's like one hilarious even after another. . .good luck and hope to see you again someday.